And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
