id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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