sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
