Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
