Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
