omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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