i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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