And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
why do cheetos always look like penises
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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