My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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