shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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