Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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