Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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