How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
