you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
