I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
