she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
