Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
