Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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