Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
