did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
