this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
