Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
