I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
