you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
