i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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