Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
