Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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