dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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