That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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