Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Found the puke drawer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
