I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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