Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
