My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
