Kiss
Puke
Banned from zoo.
Again?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
