SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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