apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize