just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
