my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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