i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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