You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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