Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
