Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize