I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
