note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
