If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize