Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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