you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I need to align my fucking chakras
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
