this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
