wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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