did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
