I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
