I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
