brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
