So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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