My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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