i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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