wat bout pragnant strippers??
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize