I love black thongs
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
