did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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