dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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