omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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