I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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