you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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