The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
