Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
