I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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