I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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