im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
