do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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