OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
