..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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