My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I could make wine with my vomit
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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