Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
