i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
operation have a gay friend backfired
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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