can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
