I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
